Friday Haiku

Pam will be here soon.
Margaritas all around.
Missing few more peeps.

A Life Remembered

~ Irma Bertha (Bretsch) Stearns ~

March 25, 1931 ~ February 26, 2010

My Grandma passed away recently. We traveled back to South Dakota two Saturdays ago to say goodbye to her. We knew her body was tired, but we had no idea just how ready she was to enter her Heavenly home.

She had been on kidney dialysis thrice weekly for nearly seven years. She'd also had a host of other health issues throughout her life. She'd always had high blood pressure. She recovered from an aneurysm before she was thirty. She survived breast cancer and later colon cancer as well. We thought we would lose her in early 2007 when she suffered a heart attack along with a small stroke. She was always a fighter.

All this after the early tragedy in her life of living through World War II in Germany, during which time she lost her father, grandmother and one of her brothers. The rest of the family struggled. In November of 1951, at the age of 20, she arrived in America along with one of her sisters.

Grandma entered the nursing home in August of 2009 after she had fractured her hip a second time. At first no one was sure whether this would be a permanent move or not. But it was increasingly harder for her to be home since Grandpa couldn't help her as much now as he once could. Not to mention that he still works on the farm, so he wasn't always home. She was falling more and more and refused to wear the Lifeline necklace (she was always stubborn...a trait that Joe will tell you she definitely passed to me) that could be used to get help. Grandma was finally told in October that she would not be going home. After that she declined rapidly. She was already very weak physically, but now she became very confused and started to lose her mental faculties too.

In January the doctors spoke with Grandpa and told him they thought it would be best to stop dialysis. Grandpa and everyone struggled to make that decision. Grandma had said for a long time that if she'd known how hard dialysis would be on her, she would have never started. She wasn't happy taking it, but it was necessary for survival. It had definitely changed her lifestyle. She had always been outdoorsy. She loved to fish and continued to do so probably longer than she should have. She always kept wonderful flower gardens around the huge farmyard. Her lifelong love of cats always had her wandering the various outbuildings on the farm in search of new kittens. Dialysis also made it difficult to travel to see the grandkids and now great-grandkids who lived far away.

On Monday, February 22, the doctors made the decision that Grandpa couldn't: it was time to stop dialysis. Hospice was called and a family meeting was held. They estimated she would have about ten days from the first day she'd miss dialysis (Wednesday, February 24).

Joe and I had discussed when we should go back. When we first found out that dialysis had been stopped, we thought perhaps we'd head for South Dakota the next day and I would stay with the girls at my parents' and Joe would come back home to work. He would then come back for the funeral, whenever that may be. After we learned the ten day estimate, we decided to wait until the weekend and makes things easier on ourselves. We decided to leave on Saturday after the Angel Food distribution at church, since Joe is the one who picks up the food.

But, Grandma only made it two days after her first missed session. She passed away on Friday, February 26. We were too late to see her one last time. I struggle with that. On one hand, we had seen her at Christmastime and I had sort of come to terms with the fact that we may not see her again. That thought occurred to me the last few times we'd seen her. I think being farther away and not seeing her as often made me realize just how fast she was deteriorating. Looking back at pictures too, it's easy to see a marked difference over just the last year, most especially in the last six months or so. I was prepared, but it still would have been nice to have those last moments to say a final goodbye, even though I don't think she would have known if we were there or not. On the other hand, it may have been a blessing not to see her at her absolute worst those last few days. She hadn't really been "Grandma" to me anymore for quite some time.

So, we arrived at my parents' in South Dakota late Saturday. We went through lots of old pictures and tried to choose just the right ones for a slideshow that the funeral home put together. We reminisced about Grandma. We picked out hymns and scripture readings for the funeral. The funeral was Wednesday, March 3, so we had lots of time to spend with family.

On Monday, we went to the funeral home to see Grandma and say goodbye: Grandpa, my Mom and Dad, me and my sister, Dad's brother and his wife and one of my cousins. The gentleman told us that he hadn't had the chance to put any cosmetics on her yet, so we were prepared that she may not look quite right. When we saw her though, we were all shocked just how wonderful she looked. She had struggled for so, so long and in death she looked so much more peaceful than she had in a very long time. I think we were all relieved to know that her pain and suffering were truly gone. Grandpa even commented that he thought he'd get a good night's rest, finally.

We had brought along some items to place in the casket, so we carefully arranged those. Grandma had an awesome gift for knitting. Her specialty was knitted doilies (most doilies are crocheted). She had made numerous over the years for family and friends and also sold some at a few shows. She made a special one for each grandchild's graduation in their class colors. Some were big, some were small. All were unique - she never used patterns. We found a fairly large beige doily that was in-progress, still on the needles...we placed that in her hands. For years, Grandma had been a bowler, until the bowling alley in town closed. We found several patches and miniature pins commemorating high scores that we added as well. A few years ago, my brother (who lives on the same farm as Grandpa & Grandma) got a black lab puppy. Hoosier had grown to be the size of a small pony, but he lived in the house with Grandma & Grandpa. He had become Grandma's constant companion. She also had a small black lab stuffed animal. We put that in the casket to watch over Grandma as Hoosier had the last few years. Lastly, my sister and I found an old German Bible as we were looking through some things for pictures of Grandma in her youth. We opened that to Psalm 103 (one of the readings we'd chosen) and left it with her as well.

On Tuesday we had a prayer service at the funeral home. Unfortunately, my sister's little boy had gotten a stomach bug, so my Mom stayed home with him while the rest of us went to the service. We hoped no one else would get sick, but on the way home that night, my younger sister started vomiting. My Mom and Dad both became sick that night as well. Neither were able to attend the funeral as they didn't want to pass around the bug. Mom did come to the cemetery, but Dad wasn't able to even make it there.

The funeral service was hard, but comforting. It occurred to me a couple times throughout the week that Lent seems like the perfect time to die ("To everything there is a season..."). Something about reliving Christ's walk to death and at the same time looking forward to His resurrection seems to ease the pain just a bit, knowing we have eternal life to look forward to with Him as well as our loved ones who have gone before us.

Since part of the family was sick, my brother-in-law set up a camera in the church balcony. It was wonderful to see family and friends and old neighbors that we don't see often enough anymore. It saddens me, though, that the only time we do see some people is at times like these. I know that happens as everyone has lives of their own and family is spread far and wide, but it's still sad.

I'll close now...I'm sure I'll have more to say later. I hold endless memories of Grandma close to my heart. Love forever.

Friday Haiku

The snow has melted!
Chirping birds woke me today,
I think Spring has sprung!



P.S. Pay no attention to the fact that this was posted on Saturday!

Friday Haiku

Stomach flu is here.
Puke buckets, Pedialyte.
What a great weekend.

Thirty...Something

Yesterday was my birthday ~ woo hoo! Happy Birthday to me. Tomorrow Joe and I are going out for supper...not sure where we're going yet. Obviously nowhere that requires reservations! I keep changing my mind about where to go. It's one of those times that Joe would actually try something new, since it's *my* day, but I'm not sure I really want to venture out of the comfort zone this time. I guess we'll just see what we feel like having tomorrow.

Right now I'm {im}patiently waiting for the mail to arrive. Way back in December I pre-ordered the "Coming Home" DVD from New Kids on the Block. I knew it wasn't being released until the beginning of February (the hubby ordered it for my "Birthda-tine" gift). So, the release date was February 2...was I crazy to think those that pre-ordered it should have it on the date it was released the general public?? Anyway, so I see that my order has finally gone from "pending" to "fulfilled" and it looks like it should be here today. At least it better be! Looking forward to watching it and enjoying some drinky drinks with my Blockhead friends Amanda & Kim on Sunday. Just the three of us and the hottest men on earth! What a Valentine's Day. LOL

Friday Haiku

Love is in the air...
Happy Valentine's Day, folks!
Hug your sweetie tight. <3

Haiku Friday

Spaghetti supper
Tonight in church basement.
Hope it's not too cold.